The plot thickens...

The response to my post yesterday has been overwhelming. Cindy McCain has denied that the conversation ever took place. Lacey, the intern in question, says it was her idea (she is trying to negotiate some sort of deal with the O! Network as we speak and the truth is impeding her negotiations) and that I am posturing to be picked up by a bigger publication (all apologies to the fine folks at the Middletown Republican Chassidic Dispatch, if you rat bastards even exist. Return a fucking phone call! It's called common courtesy). And then, to top it all of, after weeks of requesting a one on one interview, I was treated to the more abrasive side of Senator McCain's personality in our first private conversation.

Here is a word for word transcript (I have a tape recorder in my watch! That's right John boy, you Hanoi bitch!):

McCain: Bill, you got a second?
Me: Of course, Senator.
McCain: Let's take a walk.
Me: Yes sir.
McCain: You know, Bill, I like to read the columns of everyone who travels with me. I have an intern assemble them. It's what I do over lunch.
Me: I have been very impressed by the access you've allowed the press and the respect you've offered us.
McCain: Well, Bill, that's nice, but this time you've crossed the line.
Me: Excuse me, Senator?
McCain: This whole recipe-gate thing is nonsense to begin with, and now for you to claim that it was your idea...
Me: It was my idea, sir...
McCain: DO NOT interrupt me. As I was saying, Billy, I've spoken to Cindy and she denies even knowing who you are. Now, I know my wife to be an honest woman...
Me: It was just two harmless drinks, Senator. Nothing more happened. Now, I know with all the talk on the ol' Straighttalk about me and Sela, that you might feel a bit threatened by me and Cindy sharing a private conversation, but I can assure you---
McCain: Listen, dick, I don't know what kind of horseshit you think you're running, but MRS. McCain never spoke to you and certainly would never entertain the idea of sleeping with you if she even had the first fucking clue who you are!
Me: Touchy.
McCain: What?
Me: It seems like I've hit a nerve. I'm sorry. I didn't realize Mrs. McCain's fidelity had ever been an issue. However, based on your response...
McCain: Did you think the Hanoi treatment was a joke, Bill? Well, let me tell you something my little Chassidic friend, you utter one more word about this recipe-gate, you come within ten fucking feet of MRS. McCain, I swear on my father's grave, I will sick Lieberman on you! Do you know what Joe will do to you? Do you? You think this is a joke? Huh? Because you two share the same God, you're entitled to some sort of home team discount? Well, be advised, sir, that Joe has a particularly rabid disdain for members of his tribe who don't play ball. So, unless you want one of your own people to show you that yes my friend there is a hell and dear sweet Jesus it's probably a lot better than what I'm going through right now, then I would advise you to cease all recipe-gate related activities! Me and Joe do not fuck around!

And with that he stomped off.

Well, Johnny, I hope your interns are serving this to you right now with a nice turkey sandwich on Wonder Bread with Hellman's low fat mayonnaise. I hope you're choking on your little goyische lunch, pal! Because this dog can bite back!