It's the Economy, Jew Boy!

PART THREE.

Not the question I expected.

“I missed that one, Senator.” I said. All thought was whisked away by Lieberman’s absurd question. I sat dumbfounded. Perhaps, this was a Beltway ploy I had yet to experience. A riddle? An enigma? A riddle wrapped inside an enigma? A brief mental image of Joe Pesci sporting a bleached muskrat hide on his head and ranting to Kevin Costner nearly caused me to vomit. I steadied myself and met Lieberman’s gaze. It was evident that his question struck him as not the least bit bizarre.

“Hadassah and I saw the film in a theatre in Washington. Behind Enemy Lines is based on the book Return with Honor by Captain Scott O’Grady. Owen Wilson plays Lt. Chris Burnett who is a fictitious Navy navigator shot down in Bosnia. Wilson is pursued by the Serbian Army. Gene Hackman, who I admire very much, plays Leslie McMahon Reigart. Admiral Leslie McMahon Reigart. At one point Hackman tells Wilson, ‘You don’t know the FIRST thing about serving your country!’ That line really stuck with me, Bill, because I never served in our country’s great military. And I used to regret that, I truly did. And the fact is I never truly considered the depths of my regret until I was watching Behind Enemy Lines. Yes, that fact had been pointed out to me at almost every step of my career in politics, but for some reason, sitting in that dark theatre in Washington D.C. watching Owen Wilson, a man I can relate to, dodging hails of bullets, evading sniper fire, and outwitting evildoers I felt that I had truly let something pass me by in life. So, I started cheering. Cheering and whooping and pumping my fist in the air every time Wilson survived yet another impossible to survive scenario. Several people in the theatre looked back at me, but I did not care. I could have had them deported if I wanted to anyway. I screamed ‘Yeah!’ and ‘All Right!’ and for the first time in my life I felt a sense of gestalt. A wholeness and unity of being unlike one I had ever experienced before.”

Lieberman adjusted his arms moving them from the desk in front of him to the chair’s armrests. He leaned back on his elbows. His entire body tensed. He continued: “You see, Bill, in that moment of gestalt I became Owen Wilson. I experienced the strange sensation of leaving my own body, floating across the other seats in the theatre and merging, becoming one, with the actor on the screen. For the last hour of the film, I was experiencing the reality of combat, the power of service. The man cheering in the audience was me too. I was both in the film and watching my participation in it. And the experience changed me because I truly understand now what it means to serve one’s country. Can you say that, Bill?”

And then he did something truly strange. He stood up from behind his desk and removed his suit jacket. Do whatever you want to Lieberman, but please, for the love of God, keep your shirt on! Oy, oh, no, please don’t roll up the shirt sleeves! Iraq, that’s it, send me back to Iraq! I’ll fight! I’ll look for land mines! Just keep your clothes on Lieberman!