Ah... the leaves are...

...What? What's that you say? It's not late October? Oh, yes, check the calendar and the thermometer: It's August.

What an unfortunate fact that must be over in the land of the mainstream media. How my colleagues are so greatly relishing in the demise of the One, the imminent splattering of Hope on the pavement of realpolitik. How readily they trumpet what Obama must do and do now to save his once vaunted (by them, no less) campaign. How the angry Maverick is on the rise. How this convention is do or die.

This is politics in the age of mass pontification. And the entire endless proceedings are moderated by a bunch of attention starved, mind numbing whores. Hell, my memory has been ravaged by all sorts of chemical degradation, but even I remember the fucking exit polls showing Kerry beating Bush soundly in states Bush eventually won (the means behind those victories may be in question, but). And you may ask what that has to do with my current state of outrage about the blathering going on about the demise of Change? Well, everything, to be frank.

Because, with all our excessive means of gathering and sharing information, we're still wrong all the time. And with little substantiative information demanded by the media and, therefore, even less offered by the candidates, we have nothing to do through the infinite election cycle other than blow hot air. Unfortunately, for those of us interested in the actual fate of the country, that hot air is what propels candidates into office.

And nothing will stem that momentum. Certainly, nothing I say. So, for now, fuck it! Obama's going down! Clinton would have been ass raping McCain with a strap-on while Bill riffed off Miles Davis on his saxophone in the background! McCain is going to open up a 15 point lead after it turns out that not only will Obama not shake the hands of soldiers in Afghanistan, but that he actually flings his own feces at their returning caskets for fun!

The sad thing is that with a little polish and a mass email to the right people, I could probably influence some votes with that last statement.