BREAKING THE SILENCE

Tel Aviv, Israel.

Apparently, Vinny DeShapiro has some friends at Mossad who caught wind of my detainment and were able to negotiate my ‘release’ and transport to Israel.

I will be brief (Any detailed recounting of my last week would cast serious doubts in the minds of you, the dear reader, as to my ability to be objective in my coverage of Senator McCain’s campaign. Let’s just say, to tickle the old imagination, that the Hanoi treatment is decidedly not a simulation and, moreover, a no shit four alarm fire when they forget to have you removed after your appointed stay is quote unquote up and they march you and several other detainees out to a deserted schoolyard at 3am, blind-folded, and line you up against a fence and start executing every one else around you until four Mossad agents show up just in the quote unquote nick of time. Let me fucking tell you, that is the kind of experience you don’t easily forget!). Needless to say, I was not given the opportunity to accompany the Senator in Iraq, Israel, France, or England. I am writing this post on a Blackberry Curve--- my brand new Macbook Air having been bashed over my head on my first day of detainment--- while awaiting my flight from Ben Gurion International Airport to JFK. The predictive texting on this new model seems retrograde at best. I grow tired of typing with my thumbs.

I have called my editor at the Middletown Republican Chassidic Dispatch fourteen times since my ‘liberation.’ There has been no answer and, just now, it occurred to me that I would not even know who to ask for. Imagine that! I almost died covering a candidate for a newspaper where I know exactly no one. Wouldn’t that be rich! I will have to look into that upon my return to the states. There are, in fact, many things I will have to look into when I return to the states.

Wild Bill